Off late my FB page is flooded with engagement pics and the unlimited PDAs during the courtship period and finally the wedding invites. Thankfully both me and my Dh refrained from displaying any kind of affection in public or in public forums. Personally I am fine with PDA’s as long as its genuine. What annoys me is that sometimes people get so unrealistic and give out indications which are far from true.
Now, there is a friend of mine who is abroad. Let calls her ‘P’. P loved a guy truely, madly and deeply [;)]..He was from US but her typical Tam-Bram family refused to accept their relation and she had to break up with him. Within next one month she was made to talk to almost a dozen Tam guys. ‘P’ finally found this one suitable guy, let’s call him ‘S’ and said yes to him. With both families happy the date of their engagement was decided. So all this Skype meetings, talks happened a month back and the engagement is due next month. But I’m already stunned by their undue affection towards each other that I can hardly wait for the engagement and the D day. ‘P’ today mentioned on FB that their love is eternal and she is blessed to have found her angel etc etc. While I pray that this is true forever and she is always happy, I also wonder if people really give it a thought before they utter those 3 magic words ” I LOVE YOU”. Does love really happen that fast or they just try to say this so that it gets ingrained in them?
A colleague who is getting married this month called me a few days back. Her’s is an arranged marriage and they got engaged in Jan. Even after knowing her fiancé for almost 6 months she still feels that she doesn’t really “love” him. They both like each other but even after umpteen efforts she has not been able to really feel that love yet for her to write poems or letters for him . She sulked when she said. I could see that she was just under peer pressure..With so many people expressing their love in social networking sites it was natural for her to be worried..I reassured her that its perfectly normal.. In marriages, especially in the arranged ones you cant love each other right from the first meeting. All that is required is if you are comfortable sharing your space with the other person..
I met my man (my Dh) almost 8 years back. Although ours is a beautiful love story with a fairy tale ending, I dint even have the slightest of hints in our first meeting. He was an ordinary guy and I was an ordinary girl for him. It started off with mere acquaintance which turned to friendship and later into an affair which led to a marriage. And this journey took 6 long years. I mentioned affair because at that age I hardly knew what love was and if that connect which we shared was love!! To me, it was like that F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode where Ross talks about a lot of girls and finally in the end says ” After all She is not Rachel!!” . It was like that for me! I never knew I loved him but I was sure I could not have lived without talking to him. 6 years had made his presence a part of me and my life so much that I could not imagine myself not talking to him. (Oh, we spoke daily!! ). Instead of filling some other guy’s life with jealousy I decided to get married to this best friend of mine. And I know that this was one of the best decisions of my life.
8 years of knowing him and almost 2 years of being married to him, now I can say that I love him. And finding this love has been a process, a journey in itself!. And this love din’t happen just like that… We worked and are still working towards finding this love..
I find that we’re in love when both of us think about the exact same thing in a given situation, when he understands what is running through my mind and acts accordingly even before I tell him. I find that we’re in love when on some random night both of us feel like watching a movie of a particular genre with a glass of mango shake and popcorn just to unwind. I find myself loving him so much more when he tries to make cute cards to woo me. I have come to realise that its nothing but love when after a fight we just can’t wait to make up.
All I am trying to say is that relationships in life don’t come bundled with love. One has to discover it! Love indeed is a beautiful feeling but to understand its beauty you’ve got to experience it. Telling “I LOVE YOU” might be a magical thing but the real magic is when you feel it!!