Of Course I Care..! But can’t always share..!

“Aloo Parathas” –  I must have dreamt of Chaandni Chowk’s paraathe waali gali in the night. The mouth-watering aromas of aloo paratha instantly woke me up in the morning. Being impulsive, I could not hold myself longer and rushed to make it for lunch today..Just when I started preparing it, I realised that its Thursday. I fast on Thursday and do not eat anything in the morning. Half-way through the preparation I din’t want to stop myself and decided to make some for Dh. I thought I will put the  eft over  filling in the fridge so that I can treat myself with some yummy parathas tomorrow.

The parathas came out really well and I gave a piece to Dh for tasting. He loved the parathas and asked me to pack the filling also since he found some of it left on the plate. (Poor guy, he was not aware of my dream !! He knew I would not be eating today and he din’t think that I wanted to save them up for myself)..I gave him a stern ‘How-Can-You-Be-So0-Insensitive’ look and packed his lunch! Of course I reluctantly packed the filling too!

Ever since I started noticing and understanding things, I have seen mothers giving their share of food to her kids or her husbands. I have seen my mom do this for ages and now I see my mother-in-law do the same! If this has been happening for generations then why is it that it pinches me so much? Although I endorse sharing as a habit, it annoys me to give everything I have and starve myself. I have always believed that only ” I ” can stand up for myself and its foolish in being selfless to an extent that you don’t care about yourself.

I’m sure, by now you have judged me as a very rude daughter and non-traditional daughter-in-law !..But, hey..!! Thats me and I have my reasons for being myself !

I have been a foodie always.. When I was kid I would religiously cut the diary milk bar so that me and  my sister get equal parts. Even now, I always make sure I divide the food between me and my husband so that both of us get to eat comfortably. But this is not a scene everywhere..I meet so many people giving away their favourite food to their spouse or family or kids.. What’s more surprising is the proud “Yaay-I-made-my-kid-eat-everything” look on their faces.. I have always asked my mom and mil not to deprive themselves of the food just because they ended up cooking less. It hurts me when I see that its the women of the house who end up sacrificing.. Always!. I would rather accept criticism for my poor judgement about the quantity than feeling sad about not eating it :D..When I try to reason this with people, all they have to say is that they care hence it doesn’t hurt to share!!..Some, jokingly comment that I am devoid of this feeling because I am not a mother yet! Mere thought of changing myself  after all these years or altering my principles concerns me!

What if I start doing this involuntarily ? What if the future me doesn’t think of it as a scarifice at all? Or worse, what if I start feeling proud of my actions?

I don’t know and I don’t have an answer..Only time will tell !!

But at this moment I stick to my principle of  “Of Course I Care..! But can’t always share..!”

Sia

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3 responses

  1. I share your sentiments completely. I have a 6 year old daughter and she shares with me anything special that she gets to eat. I would only sacrifice my share if my planning had been inaccurate and there is less to go around because of it. That is because I feel responsible.

    I believe I set a better example for my daughter and son. They know that mothers are human too and they should not be taken for granted.

    I put myself first. It seems counterintuitive. But I have found that women who take care of themselves first are more balanced in all the other roles that they play.

  2. I can relate completely.

    It pains me to share anything and everything with all (kids too), be it a chocolate, food, or even sleeping spaces. Though a mother, I am a bit selfish (that’s what he says), but then I scream out – Spare me some life !!

    It may sound weird, but why are women always expected to be a ‘daaneshwari’ all the time, I so hate that look on those mothers who give away their share of food to their partners or kids……we also need to eat well, more so, coz we are the ones toiling all the day to take care of them 🙂

    Good one Sia……

  3. Thanks Juggler and Shimmeshine..

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