Appa has always been a very strict man.. Atleast that’s what I used to think of him when I was a kid. But then I also thought that, people who are perfect are always strict.. And appa was strict because he wanted us to learn good values in our early years itself. We learnt a lot of things from his actions and his behaviour.
He is my pillar of support. He has always wanted me to succeed in everything. In his efforts to do so he would end up upsetting me. But deep down, I knew, I was his weakness. I was his little princess!
When I told him about marrying S, not even once did he raise a concern. He had a strong belief in my decision. And even if it were to go wrong, I knew he would take care of me in the same way he did for 25 years.
I have always felt that my dad is Mr. Dependable! Today, when I saw this contest on Blogadda, I found myself reflecting on those formative things that my father taught me. Ten is too small a number to list everything that I learnt from him directly or indirectly. I am a reflection of what my dad taught me over these years.
So ‘I am writing ‘10 life lessons I learnt from my father’ at Parentous.com‘
1. Determination is the key to success: – My dad has always been an example of how a determined person should be. Be it waking up early in the morning to go for walks or going to temples daily despite his busy schedules. He has been really determined in anything he did. He would not begin any new habit but if he did he would follow it through the end.. He made me realise that we might want to do a lot of things in life. We might even start doing a few of them but what really matters is how many of those things do we do till the end. He would say focus on one thing and follow through sincerely!
2. Ego breaks Relationships: My dad taught me that that EGO, a simple 3 letter word is enough to break a lifelong relationship. Not only did he tell us to shun ego, he practiced that in true sense. When his siblings created a fuss for the simplest of things, he went ahead and apologised. Never did he think that it wasn’t his mistake. He thought the relationship he shared with them is much greater than his EGO. He always taught me to give up my ego and never shy away from saying Sorry or Thank You if it could mend a relationship.
3. Planning is half the battle: Appa has always been a big proponent of planning. I still remember those tiny chits that he would make, of all things that needed to be done on each day and strike it off one by one in the night.. He would plan for an occasion well in advance to avoid any last minute hiccups. With his actions he instilled the habit of planning in my life. Even if I am half as well planned as my dad, my life would be much more organised!
4. Embrace your elders: Appa has always been an obedient son and a caring son-in-law. So much so, that he started calling my mother’s parents Amma and Appa from the day he got married! Till date he cares of them like he would have his parents. It is because of him that I am so close to my in-laws and husband’s grandparents, because I know this is what he would have wanted!
5. Never Lie:- This was something that I learnt the hard way. I still remember that rainy Thursday when I got my maths paper and I got some 30/50. I was in class 2. I was a bright student and 30 out of 50 were too low for my standards back then. Out of fear I filled all the blank questions in my answer sheet and lied to him that the teacher forgot to correct it. At first he quietly asked me if I was lying. When I kept on lying he scolded me. When I refused to admit even then he slapped me. I gave up and admitted my mistake. He said my mistake was not that I did not write my paper well. My mistake was that I cheated and lied to him. He said he knew I would do well in my final exams but he never expected that I would lie to him. I let him down that day. In the process I learnt one of the life’s greatest lessons on that rainy day.
6. Don’t give up till you reach your goal: It was appa’s dream to see me successful in whatever I did. Be it elocution or Singing, Studies or theater. Winning had become a habit for me.. But then there were times I lost as well. I would sulk and argue that I would never participate again. As a kid I would think that my parents would be ashamed of me if I lost. But appa taught me that no matter how many times you fall down, always stay strong and have the courage get back up again. Never give up!
7. Accept what you got and be grateful for what you have: Till date I haven’t seen a person as contented with life as appa. I am a person who always wants more out of life. The moment I get what I want I strive for something better. Appa has always been grateful for the family, for the job, the house and many other things that he has. I have never seen him complain. He would say in our efforts to achieve more and more we would only ignore what we already have. He would always look at people who are less fortunate and be happy for what he has. He would again and again tell me, ‘Count your Blessings”..In this dollar era that we live in, any amount of money is not sufficient. But I have realized that money does not have an end to it. What matters is that we have a good family to enjoy this money with!
8. Be Punctual: Appa has always been a very punctual a man. He feels that punctuality is an individual’s most important virtue. He is still trying to teach me the importance of being punctual in life! Try as I might, I still can’t follow his footsteps when it comes to being punctual. But I am sure I will succeed one day!
9. Listen before your talk – For we have two ears and one mouth: – I am an extrovert. I voice my opinions without even thinking twice. Many a times this attitude has backfired on me and I have been misquoted or misinterpreted. Appa always said that I should listen to people, hear their side of story completely before commenting anything. He would say, ‘Words once uttered can never be taken back’.
10. Earn but save:- We had always been a middle class family and my dad would save a certain chunk of his salary diligently. Our expenses would be within the allowed limits always and even if it exceeded in one month, it would be duly compensated in the next few months. Appa believed that there is no end to enjoyment and we will never have enough money. He urged me to save some money at the beginning of every month and restrict my expenses to whatever is left. Although the concept sounded a bit stingy initially, now I know it makes perfect sense..
So tell me folks, am I not right when I say that he is Mr. Dependable?
Anyways, these are just few of the things that I have learnt from him in these last 27 years. I can go on and on because I owe it to him for the person I am today.
Love you, Appa!
And ya, a very Happy Fathers Day 🙂